Like I donot exist.

You wake up. Its still dark.
You didn't choose this. But this was anyway better than running for your life from an unknown monster.
You scramble for the water at your bedside. Gone.
Not your best best day.
Fourth awakening in a single night. Not your best night either but you refuse to loose.
It isn't game over yet.
You still have health left. You give it another chance.
Shoving off everything in your mind from the last nightmare you sleep. With success.

'Wake up' you hear a fimiliar voice in the distant. But with every second its nearing you. The footsteps thumping louder and clearer like someones hammering nails into your head. You scream irritated 'leave me alone' it came out as if you were crying for your life. The evil spirit retreats. Mercies you it seems.

Hours pass by. You feel content. You don't know how long you have been hanging amonst this nothingness. But your nemesis don't let this be for long.
Something hits your eyelids like swords and your are sweating like crazy.
You open your eyes and there light. And only light. You are blinded. But you fight.
You manage to keep open one fourth of your eyes.
The sunshine wants to fight with you? Bring it on.
Eventually and gradually you are standing with your eyes wide open.
You win. But you aren't sleepy anymore. This was the price you pay to win.
You rub your eyes. They pain. As a matter of fact every part of your body pains. You woke up more tired than ever. Sleep is supposed to refresh you. But it was the other way round with you. It has sucked all the energy you had left within you.

You head towards the washroom. The mirror in front shows the most hideous person you have ever come across. You splash your eyes and wash your face with water. This helps your eyes but not you. You look as monstrous as before with puffy eyes, dark circles and your face swollen in places.

You leave the loo and go towards the music that you here. You remember the place. Its your living room and its
blaring out with the music that your mom has played ..

Shining in the setting sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feeeeeel me.....

How can she even listen to this
Point one - pearl can't be on the ocean it has to be in an oyster in the ocean..
Point 2- point one proved. Thus no fuckin setting sun can make it shine.
Btw the lyrics aren't even abt the pearl.
Its about a stupid girl. So the correct thing is
(You are ) shining in the sun like a pearl (in an oyster) in the ocean .. (So you and not the pearl) come and feeleeeeeel me..
How can the hell she even shine by the sun ! What is she ? Edward cullen!
Why the hell are you even thinkin this! But you know that you already think too way much for your own good.
Your mom sets in front of you a plate which looks more like a monkeys vomit than any of the vegetables in there.. She slides it towards you like food is served to jail inmates. Well even worse.

She doesn't seem to be speaking to you. You like it that way. Nobody talking to you. Speaking seems a superhero task already.

You pick the plate of monkeys's vomit and head towards your room. Bolting the door in you shove the plate on the nearest desk. You notice worms and some ants on the pizza that you tossed there the say before. You don't care and toss yourself on the bed. Surfing on television you realise how idiotic it really is. Whims and fancies crowding all over it.

You go online. Going through facebook you smile on statuses that say how depressed people are. You want to laugh how people want to be heard. As if others are even the tiniest bit interested. No one is. No one cares a fuck. These people just are giving others chances to make fun of them
Totally worthless people ping you on chat.

You ignore cussing them and go offline.
You open your blog. Posting useless stuff to save your dying blog.

You look across your laptop at the pile of books that crowd your studytable. Your next glance goes towards the watch and you can't remeber what you did on the internet wasting like one sixth of your day.
Its almost dark. You hear voices of children playing on the streets. You remember the time when that used to be fun. Now its just a time to cuss these tiny devils.

Your bangles hurts you. You take it off. in a sudden rush it scratches your arm.
The half healed cuts on your arm are once again oozing out blood.
You make no effort to stop it.

You look at your phone. 2new messages and 1 missed calls.
You remember when you started this behavior in the beginning it used to be like 50 messages and 20 missed calls.
Everybody worried where I had vanished too. The fakeness.
But now even they cant fake it anymore.
No one cares. No one cares a fuck.

You like it that way. No contact with the outside world. Like it doesnt exist.
Like you dont exist.


July’s gone as well (& so has half of the year already! – before we know it, it’ll be November … and then i’ll grow a year older once again *cringe!*)

Well I have always been happy about my birthday but this year. Oh Well. I ll lose my teenagerity. OMFG I make it sound like virginity.

Well in some other part of the world Gym change happened.

Sugars Sugars:

1. Nice air conditioning.
2. Better machines.
3. Drinking area upstairs so the lazy me wont drink water until the very end of my excersise.

Salts Salts:

1.Very far off from my place.
2. THe trainer doesnt brush. Stinks.


P.S: Have you ever laughed on someone like hell and stopped as soon as you realise they are serious. And when you apologise and they say its ok not a big deal and you start laughing again?

P.P.S: Too lazy after a shower that you sit in your towel?
Ditto. xD .


  1. routines that we do will always be like that. and we have to make something that all bermamfaat and produce something useful for people ..
    keep the spirit and suksesok..BE YOUR SELF.
    regards suksesok

  2. routines that we do will always be like that. and we have to make something that all bermamfaat and produce something useful for people ..
    keep the spirit and suksesok..BE YOUR SELF.
    regards suksesok

  3. es Rachman I do second your opinion. Thanx for visiting.

  4. Niaaaaa :( What's wrong???? :(

    Hahahahahaha,that whole shining in the setting sun made me laugh :D Todaaliieee agreed :D

    Hahahaha at that teenagerity thingy :P I meant at the you saying you made it sound like virginity .. Please understand :P

    Hahahahaha yeeah! I have done that P.S wala part. It is soooo funny jab hota hai :P Poor that person!!


  5. Hahah.. Nothings wrong but I love to write about depression striken people. Weird no?

  6. Not weird at all :) well, Hello there :), first things first
    1.I need to tell you that I absolutely love nerds, in case you call yourself one. You know, like some other-worldly connection :D, I think they're sweet beyond anything :)
    2. your name is adorable :)
    and give this stranger a little smile now. this post somehow said yoou're really sad :(

  7. Haha glad you found the worldly connection!!
    I sooo love longy comments !!

    N naah m not sad nw this post is abt a time I was !!
    So yay !! Smiles!!

    N btw welcome here !! Hpoe to see you here often!

  8. hey sry for popping in here sooo late...
    in my defense i have the reason that my phone net is slow and i dint hav my laptop anywhr near.
    Also JEJUS KI KASAM my girl, whr those bangles so hurtful...bleeding? cuts?

    also how close did u get to the trainers mouth? :P

    Okie i am jobless and need a life.

  9. haha.. Not the bangles. Yeah I screw up sometimes while writing.

    Trainers mouth... urgh please dont remind me.


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