Caution: Ranty post.
|Too many questions. Not many answers.|
Discovering yourself. It’s a hard task. . There is no time that you would sit and introspect. What do you want? Why do you want it? Is it a crazy obsession that will fade away as you get your hands on it? Or is it something that would change who you are? Is it even relevant?
You wake up. Brushing is a herculean task. You skip it and your mom serves you your breakfast. Half fried egg and two slices of bread. The same everyday.
You log on to the web. Sadness pours onto your blog. The hours of your day vanish away before you can count till 100 in your brain. Nature's call, hunger and other things happen in short breaks ranging from 3.56 to 3.57 minutes.
You realise its evening. You slog your ass to the gym. From putting away looking into the mirror due to shame to the your day-by-day firming opinion how you should get used to living a fattie all your life because that's how it feels is supposed to be. You get back home thinking about various #EpicFail ways and diets you ll do the next day. You run to your laptop like a mother running to her just found kid. You make desperate attempts at being funny at Twitter. No one rebloged. No new followers. Finally your bum gives in to be glued at a single place for hours. You literally experience what 'pain in the ass’ feels like. Late night consecutive reruns of Big Bang theory, Two and a Half men, Glee and Supernatural replace the tradition of bed time stories. You put the Television on a sleep timer and close your eyes before it shuts down. Dark makes you imagine all type of creatures. Its time to sleep.
All through the day you just keep yourself involved so that you dont have to think about more pressing issues. How life was supposed to be about Chartered Accountancy. How the dreams and the plans to study day and night were being tweeted away. Ambition was forgotten. Getting yourself drunk on an overdose of a desperate virtual life and ignorance somehow trying to not think about the nightmare that is near. A result that is sure to have you flunked.
Do I want to live the rest of my life this way, messing up my social life?
Do I want to do Chartered Accountancy?
Do I want to go on a crash diet, fat burners look good on the cost of my fucked up health?
Do I want to ignore all the calls of people until they get tired enough to try anymore?
Hundreds of questions circling your mind with the same answer. I don’t know.
But there is one question I firmly know the answer to :
Do I want people telling me how to get my life straight, how to correct my sleep cycle, how I should be studying, how social life needs to be given a chance?