Do people change?


It was last week. Finally closing my accountancy book and then cursing ICAI, India and myself in that specific order in every swear that I knew in every language I looked at the clock. 


It was 12.30. 
Fuck. 
Its was A's birthday and I had missed wishing her before anybody by whole 30 minutes. 


For the 3 years that we had been friends I had always been the first one to wish her. Well almost. Except last year when I called her up at 11.45 itself, talked about every random shit in the world only to realize it had already been 12.01 when her brother came in her room to wish her a happy birthday.


This year it was different. 
Even if I had wished her before anybody else it wouldn't have been special. This time it was more out of a want than a need.


I called her up. For the fifteen minutes that we talked it was just like before. The senseless jokes, the not-so-funny comments, the self-pity club discussions. Nothing had changed. 


It was only after I hanged up that the realization struck me that things had indeed changed and the next time we are ever going to talk will be my birthday. Maybe


Its weird how after-school changes of college, formation of different social circles sometimes take a huge toll on friendships. 


3 years earlier I had walked in into a school where I had to start afresh. 
New people, new place and a new life. She was my first friend and probably my best. 


We had a fixed seat. The one besides the window. Our favorite. From getting punishments and standing out of the class to missing the PT period because it was too hot outside, we had always been together. From never making a maths register the whole 2 years to failing in preboards and giving competition to each other for the last rank in the class, we had enjoyed every second of it. 


Then happened college. And splitting of friends. And misunderstandings. Some insignificant things that she refused to let go. And some things in me that I refused to change. 


So did we both change? Do people change?
I'd say no they don't
People mostly DONOT change give and take fifteen percent. 
But sometimes those fifteen percent are enough. 
Enough to bring people together or in this case to make them apart.



13 comments:

  1. It's all a matter of understanding. The friendship always remains, but it might change in form. Often distance and misunderstandings drag you there, but the key is to hold on.

    People change. But its always for the better. Take it as it goes. :)

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  2. True. For the better. But for who's betterment that is the question.

    And yeah the key is to hold on. Often we forget that. Here I guess we both let go.

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  3. I think people do change. I think everyone, and everything changes.

    The only thing constant is change.

    I think.

    I've come a long way from school myself. The people I thought I'd be close to- well that didn't end up working out the same way.

    And the people I thought whom I'd never talk to, are now my best friends.

    Weird how it works right?

    Sometimes, when the differences are too large, it's best to let go.

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  4. I dont call few friends for the fear that we wouldn have much to talk abt and end up with uncomfortable silences.
    I believe once in life use for a friend in either hanging out together or in a work environment where u need to talk with them on a daily basis or for gossiping is over they become just memories. Sounds cold and calculative but its the truth.
    With guys if we want to really connect we will have couples of beers turn on a match . With girls shopping works ryt.

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  5. People don't change. Situations do!

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  6. Eh. I kind of disagree.
    I used to think that it's just the situation, the different colleges and crowd blah blah. BUT, there are times, when if reversed, I have already or would have been there at their homes, or at the very least checking up on them daily.
    And it's frustrating like crazy when people don't stay in touch. Coz if you want you, you will always find a way no?
    My bday par hi mega shit happened, lost my grandpa, irony is that more people visited/called when they heard about the break up, n not after my own family member passed away.
    So I think we do change.. knowingly unknowingly, but if we want to, really wish to, we don't lose touch :)
    x

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  7. @Zeebs : I think I agree with you to an extent.
    People do change. But what I think is the change is never too drastic. I mean yes we don't remain on the same wavelengths with people once we used to adore. But that is mainly because our priorities changed. If we come close to a different person right now we would be behaving in almost the same way we did with that previously close person. So I think we as a person didn't really change did we? Everything else around us did.

    And yes when the difference becomes too hard to manage or suddenly the relationship is asking for too much of a sacrifice it is indeed better to let go.

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  8. @P :
    I agree with every word of it. I have had friends drift away because we had nothing in particular to talk about. We had different fiels of study, different friends and in some cases we had even started living in different states.

    But here the thing with A is, I never ran out of stuff to talk with her. I always had to speak and she was the perfect listener. There was never an awkward silence. Yet somehow her priority became a friend who hated me and hence the hatred kind of transfered.

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  9. @I do. I do. :

    I do. I do agree with you. :P

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  10. @Blahblaholic I so agree with you on the latter part.
    Happened with me as well. More people showed concern when I broke up. And when my dad passed away half of them didn't even bother showing up.

    But here what changed was maybe the priority. And in other cases the need to be in touch.

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  11. @Rahul : Yes. And the sooner we accept it the better.

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  12. People do change as they learn from experience... sometimes for the better... :)

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