Ego. A three letter word.

There are always phases. 
Phases when you dont feel your normal self. When you are totally surprised. Because this face of yourself even you arent fimiliar with.
You open your book to study. Turning to page 52 where you left last night. 
Once there you start reading from the point you left. 
Dividend decision basically from the point of view of.... 
You stop. You notice the dried teardrops on it. Three distinct drops, which have left a mark on your textbook. And maybe on your heart as well.
Reminisces of yesterday clog your mind. 
You once heard crying makes you feel better, makes you feel relieved. But yesterday was a day it didnt. You felt there was a huge clump of something in your throat which just didnt go with any amount of swallowing. You felt choked. Each intake of air felt your last.  You sniffed and wiped your nose with a tissue. You felt glad that you had cold that day. This crying-sniffing didnt sound any different. And the least thing you wanted was your mom to know that you had been crying. Rushing to the bathroom every time you felt you had a huge wave of tears coming was making your mom feel suspicious. This time you went outside and purposely started to clamber over the place. You start making noises by opening the refrigirator and then opening up a bottle noises which sounded more than usual just for nothing. You just wanted to make sure they make way to the other room to your mother so that she thinks you are up doing something. Once looking normal you go back to the room. Your mom is well asleep by now. You sit on your desk looking towards her. You remember her reassuring smile towards you whenever you made a mistake. Her hug which made all the fears and confusions in your brain vanish. And the times when the only things you hid from your mother was not washing hands after playing with the dog. 
How times change. How you know that telling her everything will make everything go normal again. How that clump which has found a permanent place in your throat will disappear into nothingness. How that hug......

Ego. But your ego refuses to give in. Your ego refuses to live with the moment when she ll scold you and say that I told you so. The ego that says you ll have to live with your decision. For eternity.
How you wish when you were a child again. The time when ego sounded more like a cartoon character. 
When life was simple.
Fiction, Bro.
Random Thoughts.

I am soooo in love with graffiti. Always have. Always will. 
*heart eyes*

In other news. I ll be scarse with the posts now. Yes the evil god of education has cursed me. 
I wish to fast forward this time. I wish.

I am down with stomach infection. No Audit class and gym for the day. Booooyah.
I soo love stomach infection I tell you. 
Whatever you eat comes out asap. Maybe more.
And I am excited because when this will end I will relieve this planet of bearing some kgs.

Anyways I am off now. 
Gotta rush. 
No not to the washroom.

P.S: What if spiderman is all dressed up for saving the world and suddenly he has a pee attack?
What does he do take all his clothes off just for peeing. Because I have never seen a zip around his.. well you know.. Have you??? Just wondering.
P.PS: The TEN DAY YOU CHALLENGE has been postpones INDEFINITELY. Oh. Yeah.


  1. Postpone the challenge for like infinity :P

    Niceee post.

    And btw, I love how awesome your layout is. Look at mine. It sucks :/

  2. Well thanks !! I wanted it black since I don't know when ..

    And yours suit your theme man !! Dodo !! research on the net and you can still make it better yu know !

  3. I know i know. But the lazy ass part kicks in no :P

    Pleez research for me na. *dodo eyes*

  4. Yeah right. You give my c.a exams no?
    *counter dodo eyes*

  5. Anon? :o

    How about pliss? *counter dodo eyes counter eyes*

  6. Okay will let yu know as soon I am free !!

    Yeah my phone addresses me as anon sometimes !!

  7. You just had to postpone it , isnt it ? :P
    Ego is a strong thing, and crushes you as you grow up. You just cant let go.
    About spiderman, well one of the cobweb design on his suit cud be a zipper. Articulately hidden :P

  8. Actually yes. Hate people or things controling me !!

    Ego. Devil. So what is more evil ? Growing up or ego??

    And about the zip ... Umm somehow I can imagine that !! His suit or whatever is skin hugging isn't it? Don't you think a zip would be totally non-hidden(able)

    Btw glad I found a regular reader. Keep visiting.

    Nia Charms

  9. Please change the theme ...It hurt my eyes just to read the comments...It's to the movie Prisoner of Azkaban...Since you're so gotta make your theme a bit lucid...Nerd is good but still a bit illuminating and comprehensible will be better :-)

  10. Awwwww sad you felt so !! I have had this black obsession for long.
    Describes me actually !! Totally dark but with shades of pink and cheeriness in between !!

    I keep experimenting with the looks actually . Be hooked for the next change !!

    Nia charms

  11. Awesome blog. Totally loving it!

    Keep it up!


  12. Thanx alot Soumya.
    Welcome on deck.

  13. its nt ego nia. its life.. its nt tym dat changes...its lyf dat changes.. u knw.. its understanding dat matters.. n wen 2 ppl dnt understand wat d odr is goin thru den scolding thngs happen.. believe me happening wid me. true story. will tel in detail if u wanna knw abt dis psychology.. over phone.

  14. n change d black theme yr. black really hurts d eye. i dnt want k mai ye blog padna chodd du. bht acha lgta h ye blog. atleast make d text part-background white..

  15. I am sorry gaurav but I don't agree with you on this ! You say life changes .. What is its main reason. I guess time !! And time and life are often used as synonyms in this case !!

    And I guess its not about understanding because in this one understanding was 100 per cent but scolding is a part that makes you not repeat that again and its more of care for the other person disguised as nagging !! A person who is not understanding doesn't care for you will be the least interested in making you realise what is wrong what is right

  16. Nd about the layout wait for the next change !! Right now I am in love with this !! Black and pink describe me !!

    P.S: main reason: studies. Will do it as soon as I get enough time !!!e with this !! Black and pink describe me !!

    P.S: main reason: studies. Will do it as soon as I get enough time !!!

  17. Ego is really a bitch who just wont let us budge when we should. A pit for ourselves many times.
    Nice fiction.

    And get well soon.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  18. It's nyc too see that you hav diversified yourself!! Diversity in your posts is expands the scope of your blog from a mere personal diary to an encyclopedia!! gr8 work!!


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