Why take the pain again and again to prove me dumb? Why God?


I am dumb.
I guess somewhere in my heart I already knew this, but this doesn’t stop the universe to play all saah-bahu-saajishey on me and prove it again and again.

I was slogging merrily hopping towards my gym. After 5 childish hops and ensuring that there were no bumps on the path behind I climbed three level of stairs. Much to my surprise I survive them every day.

This is the time when I wish I had a ghode-pe-sawar prince for myself and he would carry me in his arms and climb those stairs. Needless to say if that ever happened I ll be in jail for boy-manslaughter.
After what felt like two hours of workout (though somehow magically the clock had just moved from 6.30 to 6.40) I got off the treadmill and my throat being as dry as a nun’s gusset I knew I had to drink water.
Let’s pause here and tell you some pre-requisites to the scene.

Our gym is this hi-fi (or so it likes to delusion itself into believing) thing, and for showing off there 'hi-fi-ness' they have these huge automated glass doors like the ones they have at Big Bazaar where I constantly  run inside and outside in awe just to check their motion sensor and then drop my lower jaw gazing at God’s miracle. 
They have the same only it’s not controlled by motion sensors but fingerprint recognition machines from the outside and a simple open/close switch from the inside.

Cruel Bh&%$$o3's that they are, they make us leave the gym and climb another set of stairs (as if we aren’t dead zombies already) so that to reach the place where there is the drinking area and washrooms.
Now lets replay where we left.

ME.WATER.NOW.OR.DIE.AND.HAUNT.GYM.TRAINER.ALL.HIS.LIFE

So I picked up my phone and went to the (Oh-my-fucking-god-how-big-is-this) gate. Pressing the open switch, just as I was on the verge of walking out, I heard a girl scream. I turned back and realised it was just another group of girls-screaming-and-hugging-couple. I ignored and continued on my walk-to-drinking place-mission.
Now don’t blink your eyes.
This is what happened.

WALK.WALK.WALK.WALK.CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH.

Yes. The door had closed and I had crashed (with my nose broken and face splattered) with the glass door.
And as I am God’s naughty kid he takes it out on me. Usually when I gym (secretly hoping to socialize) it is as empty as Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag’s opening show. But that day it had to be Bodyguard.



26 comments:

  1. NEhaaaaaaa i ma glad I came across ur blog atleast now!!! Awesome read :)
    OOps i genuinely hope ur nose is okay!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. I hoped so. Laugh at my tragedy you.

    Haha. Btw no, thanx.
    welcome here.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 20. Nerd. India.

    That's ME!! :-)

    Nice space you have here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my god that was so funny...

    A girl who knows her humour.. awesome... ha ha ha... i am laughing so much... sorry to know ur haal was like that :P... but oh my... ha ha ha... happens gurl... happens...

    Next time ji be thoda careful ok... :)


    LOved the post :)... Take care and keep writing.......

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now I am embarrased.
    Cant say if I should say thank you or not.

    Btw welcome to the blog. :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. dont be emb... i really do hope ur ok... but the way u described it was so so so funny... i am still laughing :P... *holds hands on his mouth*..
    keep up the good work... i mean the writing part :P

    take care and keep writing.........

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha! a crowd to watch you in a bad situation just makes it worse :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. SERIOUSLY YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE?
    :(

    Okay, screw those girls who laughed!

    Looks like all of you are up to gymming! I should continue too, it's gonna be tough after a long break. Sigh..

    ReplyDelete
  9. @DP : Seriously. Please dont remind me. I had to pretend nothing happened in front of the people and once in the washroom I was like 'Fuck man fuck aaargh my nose'


    @Nia : Yes. I took was on a break. Now I dont feel like gymming even though I have put on pounds of weight. (Especially after this incident)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh I sympathize with u.. I know wht u feeling :P
    I and u are on the same naiyya my love :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. Now, you would try again to stick your nose up the door. Will you? :D

    To nose darling: Hope you are in good shape now.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Shut up will you?

    And my nose was once screwed up before due to an accident, but now thanks to it, it is in perfect shape.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AAaaaw how sad. Poor nose, careless you.

    I empathize and sympathize. Bwahahha.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I ignore your evil laugh. And thank you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. talent to bring smile on the faces. superb writeup.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Don't meant to be too mean and nosy (getit? getit???), but at least it made for a funny blog post!!

    Half glass full always, remember??

    ReplyDelete
  17. @marriagebook : Thank you. :)

    @shreya : Yes I did. But it was lame nevertheless. (or maybe not)
    AndAnd Thank you much :D

    ReplyDelete
  18. Interesting blog.... will be back soon

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey Neha,
    stumbled onto your blog, recognized the writing, realized that been here before, we did exchange mails sometime before, hello again!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello again Harish.

    YesYes.

    Glad to see you back.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  22. Automatic Motion Sensor Glass Door Manufacturers

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