I reached office late today. After a lot of "GoodMornings" and "Hey!HowAreYous" later I was informed that I had to go on an audit. My colleague warned me for using the metro since 9 stations were shut today. AGAIN. I inquired the reason for this since they had been reopened a day ago. She told me that "Nirbhaya was dead. And the government feared more protest".

This was a blow. Something in me died. I am usually not a person who gets carried away with events and misfortunes happening to "strangers". I am an average Indian. I am shallow. I am selfish. And I am usually not concerned.

I somehow hoped against all odds that she would live. This feels weird. I have never felt this before. The sympathy, the condolences for someone I don't know. Ever since this incident took place I find myself thinking about it all the time. I find myself brimming with questions. How was she like? Was she beautiful? Would she had ever guessed that she would go through so much and cause such a huge uproar in the entire nation when she woke up on the morning of December 16th? If only they hadn't got the tickets for the movie they had watched and instead gone someplace else. If only they had been late and missed that specific bus. If only the police had taken action against the truck driver's complaint. 

So many ifs and buts. So many questions. So many opinions. But nothing changes the fact that she is gone. Gone because neither of the six men had a conscience. Gone because these men had misconceptions about the ways to prove their "manhood". 

I am sad. I am disheartened. I am hurt. And somewhere I am scared. Because I might be next.

R.I.P Nirbhaya.
You are in a better and safer place now.