After two months I finally mustered up the courage. Only to find myself right at the point where I had started. The weight scales hadn't changed.
The world is wrong when it advises me to not fuss about my weight.
Dear World,You were not the one who spent 20 years of their life being the fattest girl in the class. You were not the one who had to get their high school uniform stitched personally from a tailor because the "waist size you were looking for was too huge and not available". You were not the one whom no one ever see-saw-ed with in the park. You didn't had to compromise on your favorite clothes because your sizes weren't available in the store. You didn't had to stand behind people in pictures so others won't see your whole body. You didn't had those times when you felt really carefree but catching a single glimpse of yourself in a mirror devastated you. Leaving the house gave you a constant sick feeling. You didn't had to feel that everyone in your vicinity was laughing at you. You didn't had to constantly lower your self esteem and subconsciously believe that you are never going to deserve a boyfriend. You weren't deathly afraid of revealing your weight to anyone even though it was obvious. You didn't had to hide stretchmarks. You didn't stress out about what to wear in a party and then pick out something really pathetic because you feel like dirt. You didn't had to be afraid of shorts. Your belly didn't rest on your lap when you sat down. You didn't had to feel sad because you couldn't share clothes with your siblings.You weren't the supposedly "soft target" that guys approached just because they wanted to set themselves up with your pretty and slim friends.
Always the best friend never the crush.