The World Through My Fat Skin.


So the happy days of feeling good about myself, about my body are over.
After two months I finally mustered up the courage. Only to find myself right at the point where I had started. The weight scales hadn't changed. 

The world is wrong when it advises me to not fuss about my weight.

Dear World,
You were not the one who spent 20 years of their life being the fattest girl in the class. You were not the one who had to get their high school uniform stitched personally from a tailor because the "waist size you were looking for was too huge and not available". You were not the one whom no one ever see-saw-ed with in the park. You didn't had to compromise on your favorite clothes because your sizes weren't available in the store. You didn't had to stand behind people in pictures so others won't see your whole body. You didn't had those times when you felt really carefree but catching a single glimpse of yourself in a mirror devastated you. Leaving the house gave you a constant sick feeling. You didn't had to feel that everyone in your vicinity was laughing at you. You didn't had to constantly lower your self esteem and subconsciously believe that you are never going to deserve a boyfriend. You weren't deathly afraid of revealing your weight to anyone even though it was obvious. You didn't had to hide stretchmarks. You didn't stress out about what to wear in a party and then pick out something really pathetic because you feel like dirt. You didn't had to be afraid of shorts. Your belly didn't rest on your lap when you sat down. You didn't had to feel sad because you couldn't share clothes with your siblings.You weren't the supposedly "soft target" that guys approached just because they wanted to set themselves up with your pretty and slim friends.
Always the best friend never the crush. 

Because you don't know what fat people have to deal with. You don't know how the fat jokes that we pass away in a fit of laughter actually hurt us to the core of her heart. So please don't tell me that not losing weight even after six months of constant and regular gymming is not a big deal. Don't tell me that it shouldn't be important. Because it is. I may not be that fat like I used to be courtesy the rigorous workout of two years.. Some kind souls would even be compassionate enough to tell me I am perfect now. But you have no right to tell me that I shouldn't lose more weight. Because I will. And I am not going to stop until I reach my mentally set aim. Because I may die a virgin, I may die without completing my Chartered Accountancy but I am sure as hell not dying fat



6 comments:

  1. seriously in my opinion you look amazing. but Achieve the body you want :)
    and this post is sucha a slap to all the bullies out there!

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  2. i know how it feel ..it is a pity only we know what we are going through

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  3. wat re u talking about??? you look hot!!!!ok...my opinion doesn't count here...:-D
    But this reminded me of something..http://randomrahul.blogspot.in/2012/09/overboard-vi.html..:-) and best of luck for your journey from flab to fab!!!:-)

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  4. Ah. that was something I wish I could say.

    Love the new everything here, N. :)

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  5. I wish I could say this someday. Because its what many of us feel everyday.

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  6. aww... you look awesome, bt yes wat u wrote are the words which many girls want to speak out bt dnt have the courage!

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